But I've managed to get out. And now, I will admit. I am dating someone who truly cares for me, thats truly a first, which hurts me to say. There's been so much hurt, betrayal, broken trust, broken heart. The past few years were rough and I was torn so many times. I was pushed down so many times. Towards the end I became numb. And now . . . I still can't take it in. I can't understand. And so I sit here and write. Who knows how long this blog will go. Who knows how many other crazy, older guys I will date. Hopefully not too many more.
Brandon, thus far, is pretty much amazing. I can't put into words how good he has been to me. Every time I try to walk away, I can't. He wants me for me. He thinks I'm amazing, beautiful. I've never had anyone look at me the way he does; at least, not as much as he does.
He wants to make me happy, when I am sad he is sad. I can't understand what he possibly sees in me. He's handsome, charming and sometimes I'm surprised he wants me.
Hopefully these positive vibes will continue, hopefully my feelings will continue to endear me to him and hopefully it will work. But I have faith in my Heavenly Father. I know that he has a plan for me. I must trust in that plan.
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