Skinny, old faced and conspiracy crazy

At first it was Kelly and then Zatl. I don't know why I had a thing for men in their mid to late twenties who looked like old men and had bad attitudes, but I did.

And that’s why my next victim was Model Zatl with all his political notions and opinions he thought were fact. I first met him right when I started seeing Kelly again. I liked his sexual appeal. I would've flirted it up then but my heart was in a different place. I did look him up right after I dumped Kelly. I don't know how I remembered his name, I don't know why he even came to mind but he did.

We exchanged numbers and at first things were fun; although, I look back now and realize he has got to be one of the oddest creatures I know. Our first date we went to see his sister in the hospital, where she had just given birth the night before. If that wasn't awkward, we went and got ice cream and while we were talking J.R. called needing a babysitter. Zatl sat with me while I rocked Elle to sleep. He was odd. I kicked him out an hour later so I could go on another date.

Zatl was this crazy guy who taught me that I could have a non-committal make out. Each time, I thought I was falling for him, but it was only days later that I realized how silly the notion was.

I only wanted him when I craved attention. I learned to recognize this in myself. Zatl taught me this. Taught me to recognize that all my relationships in the past had been basically physical.

He would've been an interesting friend if he weren't so bull-headed and stuck on his cowboy, crap encrusted boots. I did like kissing him more than all the others though, until Brandon. Zatl was my first hicky, my first non-college student, my first cowboy, my first real make-out. While there was a lot of lust, there was also good conversation. Not relationship conversation, just intellectual conversation. His actions and words showed me, for the most part, how I didn't want to be.

He was consumed with work and himself. He was 27; He wasn't going to change, he'd always be consumed by work and himself.